Emmaline’s Birth Story

In March Ally reached out to me. She was pregnant with their first child and very excitedly planning ahead for their August due date. Right off the bat I knew we were a perfect fit. She had been researching birth and labor, and decided that having a doula on her team was essential. She also is a photographer herself so documenting their baby’s arrival was also very important. Plus they are just the sweetest, my favorite combo!

Over the course of two prenatal chats, and the daily check-ins as their due date approached and passed, I absolutely fell in love with this darling family. I’m certain you will too as you read through Ally’s own telling of her birth story.

Enjoy Emmaline’s Birth Story

From the beginning of my pregnancy, I had been educating myself and training my mind and body for an unmedicated birth. I knew that goal was going to be more achievable if I went into labor spontaneously, and avoided any complications if I could help it. Therefore, I stayed fairly active, working on my feet into my third trimester, walking, and doing yoga daily. The weeks leading up to my estimated due date, I was still moving. I was trying everything to help support my baby to move into an optimal position: curb walking, going to the chiropractor, climbing stairs, Spinning Babies, sitting on the exercise ball. Regardless, my due date came and went and I started to sense that the birth I had been envisioning and saw so clearly in my mind may have to change the further along I got. At my 40-week appointment, our midwife discussed coming in for nonstress tests (NST) every few days until we would schedule an induction at 41 weeks and 5 days. That was the induction date I was comfortable with, as long as everything was still progressing well. 

The first NST was that Friday (40 + 2) and went very well. The following Monday (40 + 5), we had another one and there were some concerns this time that required us to stay on the monitor a little bit longer than normal. My husband, David, and I were sitting there, wondering what was different this time, when all of a sudden, our baby’s heart rate started to slow way down, and got so slow I thought it would stop. We immediately got very scared, and the nurse came in and looked over the readings, adjusted the monitors, and a very long minute later, her heart rate returned to normal. They explained to us that this was a worrisome event, and that we should head to OB triage at the hospital. They didn’t even want us to stop at home. 

I called our doula, Randi, and my mom to let them know what was going on. I remember feeling so out of my body in that moment, like I was watching this happen to someone else instead of experiencing it. I felt like it wasn’t actually real; it was so opposite of what I had thought would be happening at that appointment and I was so worried about our baby girl.

At the hospital I was hooked up to monitors and eventually met with Brenda, the midwife on call. She explained that although the monitoring was going very well since we had arrived (at that point we had been going for about an hour), she felt it would be irresponsible to send us home because of the heart rate deceleration from before and recommended an induction. David and I both felt like we wouldn’t be able to go home without worrying about the health of our baby, so we consented to start the induction process that day. 

I asked to eat lunch before starting anything and David ran home to get our bags. Randi was there to hang with me, which was so nice. I was nervous and a bit scared, so having a familiar presence in this unexpected situation right in the beginning was very comforting. After lunch, I had an IV placed and then around 3 p.m. on Monday, Brenda placed the cervidil. It is usually left in for about 12 hours and is meant to dilate the cervix. (I wasn’t dilated at all when arriving that morning.)  I remember feeling comforted that we had a while before we could expect anything to happen; it felt like I could finally catch my breath. I also admitted out loud to David that I was scared. And sad. I was so, so sad this was happening like this, and anxious because I didn’t know where this was going to take us. I knew I should try to rest. David helped me get into my labor gown I brought from home, and even helped me shave my legs so they wouldn’t be itchy. We set up lights and candles all around the room. It made everything feel a bit more peaceful and comforting. We turned on the playlist and both laid down to try and sleep.   

A little after 1 a.m., I started to feel contractions. They were 2–4 minutes apart so we texted Randi, who had gone home to rest as well while the cervidil did its thing. The contractions seemed to increase in frequency, but not strength. Brenda came in around 3 a.m. to remove the cervidil and check me. I was now at 1 cm and my body had started contracting, but they were too close together and not strong enough (a common side effect). Brenda explained that starting Pitocin at this point wouldn’t be great because they were so close together and she wanted to start IV fluids to hydrate me more to help them spread out. I preferred to hydrate on my own with regular water and coconut water. While hydrating, I kept a heat pack on my jaw to keep it loose as I have a tendency to clench it. I also focused on relaxing my lips so they flapped with each exhale, and did deep squats while leaning against the bed. After a few hours I decided to lie down to try to rest while listening to a meditation. 

Shift change came at 7 a.m. on Tuesday, and Sarah became the midwife on call. She introduced herself and discussed our options with how to move forward with the induction. We consented to start Pitocin and from about 7:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. I was working to move through contractions. Around 2:15 p.m., I was checked again and hadn’t progressed past 1 cm. Sarah mentioned that part of my cervix was still very hard so I decided to have a foley balloon inserted to help my body progress. The balloon was inserted around 2:20 p.m. and was meant to fall out on its own once I was dilated to at least 4 cm.  Less than a half hour later, I felt something strange. Sarah checked me and not only had the balloon fallen out, but I was dilated to 7 cm! From there, things got pretty intense fairly quickly. 

Shortly after, I requested nitrous while I continued to walk around, squat, and sit on the ball. David was an amazing partner throughout all of this. He was always by my side, allowing me to lean on him, doing counterpressure on my back, getting me heat packs and water, and whispering encouraging words into my ear. As things progressed, the lack of sleep from the past couple days started to take a toll on me. I moved to a side-lying position in bed, alternating sides with the peanut ball between my legs to try to rest. Around 4:30 p.m. Tuesday, I was checked again, and still wasn’t dilated more than 7 cm.

Sarah felt that my bag of waters was bulging and explained that releasing them could possibly allow more pressure to be applied to the cervix. I agreed and it was a huge release; contractions got so much more intense right after that. I remember moving to labor in the bathroom, and immediately feeling lightheaded and hearing a ringing in my ears. Sarah asked me to come back into the bed and said I may be having a vasovagal response as I moved into the transition phase of labor. It was then I realized if I continued to labor for several more hours, I wouldn’t have any energy left to push. To help me rest before that phase, I decided to get an epidural.

I had heard that epidurals could take a while to get placed, but the team was there within a half hour. My waters continued to leak as our baby was moving down and into position. After it was placed, I got into a side-lying position on the bed and the room cleared out.

David came over to me and he was crying. He told me how proud he was and how strong I was. He was overwhelmed with the fact that as each hour ticked by, I was met with yet another challenge that was stripping me of my unmedicated birth goal. Yet, I was doing it. He reminded me that I can do hard things and that I can get through unexpected interventions in a thoughtful and strong way. This was a very special moment for both of us and filled me with peace about each decision made thus far.

I was able to rest and even fall in and out of sleep while the Pitocin was increased. Katie, the RN who was with us for several hours, came in every so often to help me move from side to side and even into a sitting position in the bed to encourage the baby to move down. During this time I listened to another meditation and used some hypnobirthing skills to visualize my body opening and our baby moving down. David also applied some clary sage onto the acupressure point on my ankles and about an hour later, I started to feel a lot of pressure in my butt—the urge to push. 

Pushing began around 11:30 p.m. I was guided to push when contractions were at their peak since I was still feeling some effects of the epidural. I tried pushing for about an hour in several positions: on my back, holding alternate legs, tug-of-war with a sheet and pull bar, and squatting on the bed with a pull bar. As pushing continued, the effects of the epidural were wearing off and I started to be able to feel the surges and the effects of my pushing more and more. Baby’s head was visible by 2:30 a.m. Wednesday morning. They brought in a mirror so I could see her head, but I was barely able to open my eyes. I was using all my energy on pushing.

Each contraction, I was guided through three pushes and by the third push of the set, I was absolutely spent. I felt like I had nothing left. Then another surge would come and I would do it all over again. It was something I just had to keep doing no matter how drained I felt. At one point it was suggested for me to take every other contraction to rest and just ride it out, but my body started to just push on its own. I couldn’t help it. At this point I really started to doubt how much longer I could do it; I was so exhausted. I had so many people cheering me on during contractions, but Katie, the nurse that had been with us for hours, was the voice in my ear between them. She was encouraging me to relax everything and just breathe. I really think that got me through to keep trying each surge as it came.

As it started to become clear I was running out of energy, Dr. Meulenberg was brought in to evaluate for possible vacuum-assisted delivery. She found that the baby wasn’t quite far enough down to attach the vacuum. So I just kept pushing; there wasn’t really anything else I could do. My eyes were mostly closed, but I can remember the immense feeling of support and encouragement in the room. Randi told me later that since shift change was happening and there were more teams present to prepare for a vacuum assistance if needed, the room was full of women cheering me on with every push. How powerful!

By 3 a.m. Wednesday morning, Dr Meulenberg told me I had been pushing for almost 4 hours and I knew that if I wasn’t able to continue and deliver this baby soon, I would be headed to a c-section. Even though the risks of the vacuum were so scary, baby girl was far enough down now and I consented to that assistance. I knew I was so close and had worked so hard; it was time to meet our baby girl.

Emmaline Grace arrived at 3:23 a.m., wide-eyed and all tangled up in the cord. She immediately started crying and was placed on my chest. It was such a surreal moment. I think part of me was in total shock that the pushing was finally over. I had used every ounce of energy and effort I had to get her here safely. I did the very best I could and she was finally here!

We weren’t able to delay cord clamping for longer than a minute as the NICU team had to look her over. They assessed that the only side effect she had from the vacuum was some bruising on her head.

I was so relieved when they told me that and placed her back on my chest. Our little family was so beautifully changed at that moment; David and I just looked at our little girl, thanking God she was healthy and safe. 

Even though Emma’s birth was nothing like what I had imagined, it was perfect because each choice and everything I did ultimately brought her here safely. I never once felt intimidated by providers to make any decisions from a place of fear.

I realized after this experience that I am one of many women who have had to let go of a birth they had been dreaming of and that it’s ok to have peace with that. It’s ok to grieve the experience I wasn’t able to have, while still feeling proud of all the strength and intention this birth experience had.

Birth isn’t something you can really plan, but I strongly believe that being educated beforehand helped me to navigate the unexpected and this truly was the way it was meant to be. Nikki Shaheed has said that pregnancy, birth, and ultimately motherhood keep you in a continuous state of growth. This experience grew me in more ways than I could have imagined. I was forever changed by this, and continue to change so much during these first few weeks of motherhood.  

I am so grateful to have had so many caring people around me, from the nurses and physicians to our midwife and doula. My greatest support, then and forever, is my husband. He was so amazing during labor, but also during my whole pregnancy. He read the books and took the birth class alongside me. He listened to me discuss my fears, hopes, and dreams about pregnancy and birth and has been my constant cheerleader. He made me smoothies and ramen during the first trimester, and went on constant walks with me during the third. He listened to me time and time again when I would second-guess myself, wondering if I was doing everything right. I’m so grateful Emma has him for a dad, and that I have him as my partner in life. It’s amazing to create new life with the person you love, and I can’t wait to see where this adventure into parenthood takes us.

Thank you so much, Ally, for sharing your story with us! I am so inspired by your love for your family and know that you’re going to be such a sweet momma. I’m so glad I got to be a part of your birth team, you’re the best!

Bonus:

My post-birth selfie in the hospital parking lot heading home at 4:54 a.m. after Emma was born. Oh the birthy elation! There’s nothing like it!